Burnt Orange Nation

A reader email requiring immediate attention.

Hey, I enjoy the blog and felt like you were 1 of 2 people who could help me here.
I was born in Austin, and grew up rooting for the Horns. I'm now a student at UT and a season-ticket holder for football, and I recently bought the stampede package for basketball.

I'm also a devout Red Sox fan. They won a thriller last night, and now Game 6 of the ALCS is scheduled for the same time as Texas/Missouri. I'm not selling my ticket, I'm just wondering if it's okay for me to wear my red sox hat into DKR on saturday night, OR should I go with the longhorn hat I've worn every time they've played this season? Your help would be appreciated here.

-Cory G.

(PS, the other guy I e-mailed with this problem was Bill Simmons)

I think we know what Bill's answer will be ("Neither. Wear a 'Rick Barnes Sucks' hat."), so you've come to the right place: It has to be the Texas hat.

1. Most Recent Title Factor: Texas -- Though both teams have recent titles, the Red Sox won the World Series last year. Relative to "reigning world champs," Texas is in a damn drought. Throw in the Sox' 2004 stunner, and Boston fans aren't hurting for glory.

2. Regional Considerations Factor: Texas -- The Celtics are the reigning world champs. The Patriots have won a handful of recent titles. At this point, Bostonians are probably sick of parades. In Austin, of course, all we have is the Longhorns. That's it. This is everything. Everything.

3. Any Given Game Factor: Texas -- True, the Red Sox face elimination on Saturday night, but baseball's world champion can--in theory--pop the champagne losers of 8 individual playoff games. Not so in college football, where 1 loss might be the end, and 2 is almost certainly the death of your title hopes. There's more riding on any one college game than a baseball playoff game. (Hence the need for any CFB playoff to remain exclusive enough not to disproportionately dillute this factor.)

4. Ferocity Of Opponent Factor: Push -- Tampa Bay and Missouri are good this year, but are historical disasters. If you were facing the Yankees, or Texas the Sooners, we might have to consider this.

5. Atmospherics Factor: Texas -- You're not going to Fenway. You're going to DKR-Texas Memorial Stadium. In Austin. To join a sea of burnt orange crazies hoping to keep this improbable run going at least one more week. Do your part. Don't be That Guy in a Red Sox hat. Just... don't.

If it's important enough to you to shun your lucky Longhorns hat to don a Red Sox cap, give your ticket to another Longhorn fan and watch Boston in a sports bar.

This is college football. Take no prisoners. (Or chances with good ju-ju, damnit.)

Hook 'em. Beat Mizzou.