The ancient Greeks used to consider hysteria an actual disease that afflicted women; in that pre-pharmacological age, physicians' cured the "disease" by manually stimulating them until they climaxed. It wasn't until Sigmund Freud that we correctly identified hysteria as a psychological affliction -- unsurprisingly, Freud thought it was tied to sexual frustration. I find it interesting that despite not really understanding what women were suffering from, the Greeks figured out an effective cure. (It was thought that there was a direct connection between these physical pathologies localized in the female organs and certain nervous symptoms; thus, the origin of the term, from the Greek hystera, or womb/uterus.)
What could this possibly have to do with Texas football? I'm glad you asked. Many of us watching the team through two games have sensed something's been a bit off with the team in general, and with McCoy in particular. They appear healthy and strong in all the ways we thought, but something's seemed not quite right, and as armchair doctors, we've attempted to diagnose the malady in a number of ways -- the line is weak, the playcalling's off, etc.
Turns out the problem might just be a good old fashion case of hysteria, so to speak. Chip Brown, take it away:
As we reported from Laramie, Wyoming, on Saturday, Mack Brown said after the game he thought the team was pressing and not having fun. No one moreso than Colt McCoy, who has made mistakes he hasn't made since his 22 TD, 18 INT sophomore season in 2007.
On Monday, McCoy said he's gotten the message.
"I think the biggest thing for us as an offense is we just need to relax and be consistent," McCoy said. "We're pressing. We're trying too hard.
[...]
"He's trying to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders," Brown said, "and I had a long talk with him yesterday and told him, ‘You need to relax and go out and have fun.' He did that in the second half, he played great."
I asked Colt McCoy if he thought he needed to run more in the offense to make things go, and he said, "Maybe so."
"I do feel a little bit more in control of the game when I run a little bit because it helps our offense and we're moving the chains," said McCoy.
In retrospect, it seems obvious -- one of those things I wonder how I didn't pick up on my own. In some sense, though, we've all been suffering from a being a bit too emotionally wound up. We all know how good this team can/should be, and we're all pressing for perfection. Time, perhaps, for us to relax a bit and remember to have fun. Ditto Colt McCoy and the rest of the offense, who continue to be at their best when McCoy is making plays with his feet, creating offense where there is none.
Hopefully Mack Brown's diagnosis is the right one and, despite not being totally sure what's been off, stumbled into the right cure.
Go get you some, Colt.
0 recs | 68 comments
Are you also implying...
That we, the fans, due to our heightened emotional state, should also participate in some stimulation for the sake of the Longhorns season?
future_longhorn_dad - September 16, 2009
dude, you beat me by seconds.
GoHorns - September 16, 2009
Do what you gotta do
Peter Bean - September 16, 2009
You might want to visit a different Web site first...
this ain’t the BON you’re looking for.
54b - September 16, 2009
hahahaha
ez-E - September 16, 2009
Tate Pittman
Constantly slipping in and out of hysteria.
Horncasting - September 16, 2009
I hate to bring up bad or inappropriate news
But, I wonder if Erin Andrews will be the one reporting from the sideline Saturday night? Based on remembering threads around here from the College World Series, having her on the sideline is just what the Hysteria Doctor ordered
future_longhorn_dad - September 16, 2009
All this, and on a Wed. no less
Hysteria and the vibrator—Per the NYTimes:“Alas, the invention of the vibrator had nothing to do with love in the afternoon or sexual liberation. It was originally a labor-saving device to help doctors give their female patients a ‘’hysterical paroxysm’’ — that is, an orgasm.”
Colt does need to chill back and enjoy the ride. And, I think this was an appropriate innuendo for the fans on this site. Sometimes this place is wound a little too tight.
Wrangler86 - September 16, 2009
Umberto Eco...
once submitted a Freudian reading of sports fanatacism as the need for sexually frustrated men to live voyeuristically and vicariously through the physical conquest of other men.
BrooklynHorn - September 16, 2009
I like how Rodney Carrington put it
The whole point is to take your ball and send it through the other guys uprights, just like every night at a bar.
future_longhorn_dad - September 16, 2009
So, um...
you’re saying we need to be manually stimulated?
GoHorns - September 16, 2009
Easier and cheaper than a hysterectomy anyway...nt
54b - September 16, 2009
Where is T-Bone
when we need him? This post screams his name.
kriess - September 17, 2009
So you’re saying the offense just needs to get fingered by a doctor, right?
“Hysteria,” as I recall, was thought to be the effect of the uterus vacating where it’s supposed to be, and then trekking around the rest of the body, mucking up the normal operation of other organs and systems. When I first read that, I believe about nine or ten years ago, I found it, well, hysterical. What a thing for a college kid to learn.
burntorangehorn - September 16, 2009
How did I know that all the comments would be on that first paragraph...
BoddickerIsClutch - September 16, 2009
Not just the first paragraph
He ends the article by adding “Go get you some, Colt.” I mean, can you blame us?
GoHorns - September 16, 2009
The article makes sense
But I’ve got to say, that was one of the wierdest introductions ever. Stimulating Greek women and college football will never again go hand in hand as seamlessly as it does here.
SuperBentley - September 16, 2009 via mobile
It goes hand in hand as much as you...
Nevermind, Ill stop.
BoddickerIsClutch - September 16, 2009
I don't know that "hand in hand"
is the best characterization of this coupling.
ctex80 - September 16, 2009
Say what you will about fan hysteria,
But I for one would like to see:
1. Forced turnovers on defense
2. Elimination of the east-west offense
3. Quickly developing running plays and backs who can hit holes decisively.
Then, and only then, will I stop massaging female genitalia.
pleaseplaykindle - September 16, 2009
I feel bad for her...
..especially with Greg Davis at the helm.
kriess - September 16, 2009
Maybe its Greg Davis that needs the stimulation
It is against NCAA rules to spend athletic funds to give Greg Davis a fun night on the town with say, 3 women of ill rebute?
future_longhorn_dad - September 16, 2009
Depends on what kind of rebuts you're talking about. nt
whills - September 16, 2009
You're too easy
I’m demanding the following:
1. Oklahoma turned into “Lake Texas”
2. All female play-by-play commentators confined to Softball games and gymnastics
3. ACC and Big (L)EAST removed from the BCS equation
4. BCS removed from College football
5. Voters that actually watch the teams they vote for
6. All you can eat Uncle Julio’s
Then, and only then will I stop massaging female genitalia.
GoHorns - September 16, 2009
We're up to our limits in martyrs, anyway, GoHorns. Go finger. nt
whills - September 16, 2009
finger?! freudian slip? appropriate, considering the topic.
GoHorns - September 16, 2009
And a take off on Texas colloquial "go figger."
Molly Ivans would use the phrase a lot.
whills - September 16, 2009
Tebow went through this last year, and Florida’s offense was rather disjointed the first five games. He didn’t really snap out of it until he threw his first interception in the game after the loss to Ole Miss. Just hope McCoy snaps out of it before a loss, unlike what we saw with our guy last year.
Year2 - September 16, 2009
I second that
I was thinking along the same lines. You hate to think it, but often the heat needs to be turned up to get the team’s attention. I’d like to think that happened in response to the first half in WYO.
I will add to our (fans) responsibility beyond sexual release: those going to the game on Saturday – help McCoy out. Be as loud and excited and FUN as you can. He will no doubt pick up on it.
Infield Elephant - September 16, 2009
Incidentally
Does anyone know what became of John Brantley? Is he ever going to get to play at Florida? Wasn’t he son of an NFL QB?
pleaseplaykindle - September 16, 2009
He’s the son of a Florida QB and nephew of a Gator LB, both of whom spent some time in the pros. He’s the backup and in two games he’s 18/24 for 202 yards, 3 TDs, and no INTs.
Year2 - September 16, 2009
Thanks
How different is the offense with Brantley running it. If I remember the reports from when he was being recruited, mobility wasn’t one of his strengths.
Horncasting - September 16, 2009
tebow = john the baptist
to Brantly’s JC. Count on it
andmyster - September 16, 2009
he'll snap out of it
after a tough game where “style points” aren’t an issue. Easy to see why the offense could be uptight when they’re expected to win by 50. When we’re just expected to win – this week is marginally in that category – they’ll focus on each play and not the scoreboard at the end of the game. Of course, if it happens this week, everyone will say that Mack’s pep talk was the cause. Knowing Brown I’m sure it helped, but basically this team needs a slugfest.
In the spirit of this thread, I’ll point out that McCoy could also relax if his Saturday morning routine coupled with the pom girls’ or even his girlfriend’s pregame, but remember he’s not evil, so the baby batter will stay put for now.
Texastough - September 16, 2009
This would be a whole lot easier if he’d just give up on the abstinence thing.
burntorangehorn - September 16, 2009
Publicly they claim to be virgins
but privately…………..he hit it.
(Justin Timberlake from Saturday Night Live).
Horncasting - September 16, 2009
Genius!
TexasGarcia37 - September 16, 2009
no idea why....
but somehow, this whole post reminded me of my favorite line from Goin’ South (a vastly underrated movie w/Jack Nicholson and Mary Steenburgen in her debut…).
Moon (Nicholson): I got this theory on virgins, that they always look peaked and grouchy because they’re going against nature.
I don’t want to get calluses patting myself on the back, but… in my time I have put a gal or two in tune with nature.
Julia: I’m sure nature is very grateful.
The Horns just need to go out Saturday, have an blast, wallop the absolute hell out of Tech and make things right with nature…
Pflash - September 16, 2009
She hangs chairs on the walls! nt
whills - September 16, 2009
Mixed signals
First we tell these guys that they’d better execute or else. That they need to get all angry and fired up. Then we say just relax and have fun?
Caradoc - September 16, 2009
both maybe?
it can be fun to get all angry and fired up.
Infield Elephant - September 16, 2009
So WHO
exactly “cured” Colt during halftime last Saturday? Is that the quarterback coaches job? If so, he’s not paid enough.
tdwalsh - September 16, 2009
I heard the Florida QB coach works for free… It’s a blessing to hold the "Hammer of God. "
UT_BKC - September 16, 2009
Are you calling into question Tebow's virginity?
I would imagine his divine nature belies a need for such physical pleasures.
I guess the press doesn’t think it off-base to ask if Tebow has ‘gotten any’, but asking if he (or the QB coach) ‘beats his bishop’ is just going too far. I wonder if Tebow considers a blow job to be ‘sex’…his ruling might have cleared up a lot issues in the late ’90s.
Rickyspub - September 16, 2009
I hear lots of common law precedents cite Tebow.
burntorangehorn - September 16, 2009
This thread can only go uphill from this. .nt whills
Horn Brain - September 16, 2009
Hopefully Colt will be magnificient saturday
and afterwards can sit down and lean against the goal post with a cigarette blowing smoke rings
BEW - September 16, 2009
what the horns need...
Looking back on last year, the Horns played their best football starting from the moment Shipley returned the KO vs OU thur the end of the Missouri game. Up to that point, they rolled substantially lesser opponents but there wasn’t a noticeable carry over of the sort of confidence success breeds until after the OU game. After the Missouri game, they failed to roll on what (in retrospect) was an over-matched OSU team, and obviously suffered in the 1st half vs Tech. The confidence from picking apart OU peaked at the Missouri game, where Texas gave its best performance of the season on both sides of the football. The biggest beneficiaries were the offensive and defensive lines, which really manned up throughout those two games. However, you also saw McCoy dominating and taking care of the ball, and the receivers catching anything in site. Every success built on previous successes — and from the fans in the nosebleeds to the guys on the field there was no doubt in anyones mind that the team showed up to beat the crap out of Mizzou.
We’ve based our expectations of this season on the fact that we’ve seen this team put together 6 quarters of nearly picture perfect football. However, through two games this year we’ve seen a pedestrian offense and a solid defense — not nearly the picture perfect exhibition we’ve expected. Is this hysteria unfair? What gives?
The problem, my friends, is motivation…or better yet, transforming motivation into production. Any other year, this start would be acceptable – but not this year. With a #2 ranking, and a Big 12 championship in site, this team has more motivation than ever. What’s missing is a jolt of something, a firey speech, a kick to the teeth, a big hit on someone that says “We’re Texas, bitch”. Over two games its been hard to put our finger on what is missing, but I’ll do it for you — its attitude.
So far, Texas hasn’t showed that confidence or that swagger that the fanbase feels. Like most teams, Texas will take its cues from its elder statesman – McCoy, Kindle, Shipley, and Houston. And so far, we’ve yet to see that one moment that sparks confidence.
I had hoped that this team would have defined itself from the start of the ULM game, but that didn’t happen. Wyoming came and went without incident. Although they haven’t said anything to the contrary, have the Horn’s circled Sept 19th on the calendar? Has everything so far been the undercard?
I’m with Mack that Colt need to have fun and he needs to run (particularly when 8 guys are dropping into coverage). But we need more too. The “hysteria” will subside when we show some swagger that says we believe we belong in the top 2. Perhaps revenge is the motivation. Maybe Colt’s feet will provide that spark. All I know is that come Saturday it needs to be there – I for one am not taking Tech lightly.
BMG - September 16, 2009
the problem is that great plays so far are "meaningless"
When you are expected to win each game 63-0, no individual play or touchdown means much – it’s worth as much as a single bite in a food-eating contest. It’s hard to really enter the zone. The wake-up call should come this week, when every single touchdown, sack, pass break-up, and special teams hit will deal another blow to the memory of the last :06 of Jones AT&T stadium in 2008.
burnt in ny - September 16, 2009
From the last drive of the half and the whole third quarter you saw this teams' attitude.
The blocked punt and TD was a hard barehanded slap across the face. We react – and teams react – to fear and threat. So did the Horns…and what you saw directly was the attitude of this team. All the crap fell by the wayside as they put up 35.
Being too hard on yourself and, as a team, playing tight is one of the worst afflictions can be encountered. If the Horns didn’t have high expectations – and rightly so – they might not have succumbed to it. But that won’t last long in the heat of real combat of football. Basketball and particularly baseball teams are so much more prone to such situations, but in football you’ll get the crap beat out of you if you persist. This is a sober and motivated team…I have no doubt they will take care of business.
Half this board is sphincter-addled today.
whills - September 16, 2009
I hope that's true...
But I think that, like last year, this team probably needs to sustain a good team’s best shot to show its true colors. Our success or failure this year will be predicated on our ability to sustain that focus level week after week and not peak too early like last year.
This isn’t by any means an indictment on the team, sometimes its just what it takes to spark a run.
Here’s hoping that Wyoming’s blocked punt did the trick – we’ll know if the Horn’s open up Saturday intense and focused from the get-go.
BMG - September 16, 2009
They'll probably need a few more slaps up side the head.
That said, they are one of the most directed Horns teams I seen in a long time. They need to learn how to collect their attention in a solid manner. VY had his rituals – that’s what rituals are for – and if you can find a method, then what wyoming did – and later teams might – will have to serve that purpose.
whills - September 16, 2009
seriously
bq.Half this board is sphincter-addled today.
Every year great teams, including ours, has less than great games, halves, and/or quarters. Last year we had some slow starts, including UTEP and OSU. Even the 2005 team did – we were only up on A&M 21-15 at half and beat them by 11.
It always takes time to click on all cylinders. I know its fun to analyze/discuss whats going right and whats not, but some of the threads these first two weeks go way beyond that and into the hysteria category even after 2 beatdowns.
Texastough - September 16, 2009
block quote fail
Texastough - September 16, 2009
Ummmmm. White people talk too much.
One of the most accurate observations I’ve ever heard from our red brothers. From what I’ve seen in my life, it is absolutely true.
whills - September 16, 2009
Color has almost nothing to do with it. Almost all people talk too much. White people, black people, hispanic people…I guess I haven’t noticed it in Asian people, but, well, y’know…
burntorangehorn - September 17, 2009
Don't worry. It will all be commoditized in the end. nt
whills - September 17, 2009
Now called Beergut fails...
It happens.
kriess - September 17, 2009
Swagger
I despise the whole notion of ‘swagger’. It is one thing to have confidence in yourself and your team. It is another to strut around like the king of the barnyard, showing up your opposition. In fact, I would say those who ‘swagger’ do so because they inwardly doubt themselves and act out to cover up their weakness.
Caradoc - September 17, 2009
yeah, but...
there is something to this “attitude” thing. Last year’s team had it for certain. I don’t think it’s necessarily displayed as showboating or strutting or trashtalking, but there are teams that have the attitude that they will prevail, and that they will, in fact, impose their will on the opponent.
And those teams, whether demonstrative or not, will have a tendency to pull together when adversity strikes, rather than fall apart. Just one of the many, many reasons last year’s team deserved better than they got…
Pflash - September 17, 2009
2005 team
certainly had swagger, but it never showed up the opposition, and never acted like the king of the barnyard. It found strength in the leadership if VY and the seniors and exuded confidence. Last year’s team had a certain swagger, particularly during the two games I mentioned. It doesn’t have to be showing someone up or being cocky – it’s in the the body language & in playing with confidence in yourself and your teamates.
Colt’s “pressing”, the o-line’s weak showing so far, and the overall clicking on less than all cylinders makes me wonder if the team isn’t sure what its capable of.
BMG - September 17, 2009
Semantics
I guess we have different understandings of what ‘swagger’ means. To me, it involves an egotistical attitude of superiority that goes beyond the kind of self-assurance you describe.
Caradoc - September 17, 2009
Lets not forget that we have won both opening games by 30+ points
Crimson Fog - September 16, 2009
History Lesson
Impressive job incorporating the Ancient Greeks, Sigmund Freud, and “manually stimulating” women to climax all into an opening paragraph that somehow transitioned into Texas football.
Colt is ideally positioned to pick up UT’s third Heisman Trophy. Even if Tebow runs the table in the SEC the committee doesn’t want to go as far as putting him in the rarefied air of being handed two Heismans.
Venice Beach John - September 16, 2009
I'm sorry I'm late...
What the hell just happened on this thread? Hysteria, fingers, addeling, aggies, sheep, stimulating ect…
I thought we were talkin football ?!?!
Ese-De-SA - September 16, 2009
Heisman
Maybe the biggest reason that Colt is pressing is the Heisman race. The worst game Vince played in 2005 was against A&M (last regular season game) when he was in a tight race with Reggie Bush for the Heisman and everyone was saying he needed a really big game at A&M to win the Heisman. That is one reason I hate so much attention on the Heisman before the season is over. It just puts pressure on these young gifted players and it leads coaches to keep these super star in blowouts even though it would be safer to bench them when the game has been won (it would also let the backups develop some).
Most fans are at least an order of magnitude less worried about the Heisman than Colt. Is there any evidence that the fans are any more or less worried this season than any other season where the horns have a good chance to win the MNC? When the horns are really good, fan interest is really high. When the horns are not really good, fan interest drops off a bit.
I think Peter just wanted to work this salacious hysteria cure into his post to make it more fun. Looks like Peter is a born newsman.
Kafka - September 16, 2009
Heisman vs MNC
I agree – winning a National Championship is a lot cooler than winning the Heisman, and I’d say Colt probably feels that way too. He shouldn’t be looking at that all season. Every game is big and should be treated that way, one at a time.
Infield Elephant - September 17, 2009
Allow me to take that
Hysteria in a different perspective. Women tend to need foreplay to take them to the highest climax.
It spreads out 4 stages:
1. Foreplay (Early stage of the season)
2. First level of Climax(Beat OU)
3. Second level of Climax(Big 12 Conference Title Champ)
4. Third level – the highest level of orgasm (National Title Champ)
This is what Colt will bring us to enjoy this season!
Horns98 - September 17, 2009
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